My confidence was definedby the length of my belt.Measured by the inch,it was the only source of validationI had for myself. When all else failed,I could relyon pleasing someone else, Because the amplitudeof her moanreassured me I was of help. If not that, then what else?It was one of the firstemotions that I felt.It started …
No other option but to suffer in silence. The only physical form of intimacyI know isacts ofphysical violence. I bonded best with rejection becauseit was a dependable alliance. Unwanted and unloved,my only sourceof acceptanceis from the emptiness of a desolate environment. You fall in lovewith the word “no”when you’re asdesperate as I am. I’m starting …
Abandoned as a child,voids of affectionwere developedin absence of the sourcenecessary for itto get filled. You welcomed mewith open legs,deep down through a portalthat innervated mypathways with instructions on how to heal. Supplied me withan antidote for pain.Its potencyabsorbed through my veinsintegrating the power of creationwith how I feel. I am now worthy of love.Evidence …
The journey begins.I am welcomedwith celebratory handshakes that allow me to pass. I’m guided through enchanted territories as youdeposit clues to help me navigate the path. Each drip contains molecular componentspotentenough to down regulatetrauma from the past… *Moans* I am healed fromthe depths of youroceandrainingholy water along my staff.
You’re such a woman.Optimized by the thrusts of nature,taking it like a statue being impaledby gusts of wind. Helpless to the sensation,Your only option is to screechsoft echos of pleasurethat resonate with the melodiespounding within. You weather the storm. Holding your groundwhile being turned onby the functions of anatomy,which supply you with the toolsto experience …
It’s like I’m digging for gold.Mining for ore, swinging my tool down the hole. Buried in your vein, stuck,locked in, enclosed. Extracting your deposits until the product seeps out andexplodes. Now I’m Rich. Drenched,Dripping,and exposed. Officially crowned as the knight at your throne.
After a while, rejection begins to turn into neglect.Following the desperate attempts to request a minimal amout of respect, “Ugly”, and “stupid” were the labels I would get.
Royalty on the throne. Birthed from the sun, emerged from the snow. Migrated together to createa chemical reaction well known… We are well aware of what happenswhen heats touches the cold. My heart gets soft when I’m around you. Ready to receive the warmth that surrounds you,I feel your heat as you enter the room. …
When was the last time you cried? You wear the suit of fulfillment,but it never properly fits your style. You’re terrible at taking your own advice. I know you’re sick of the pain,you want to take control of your life. But you can’t. Not until you get rid of that fear of mirrors,And discontinue living …
Poetry 