My confidence was defined
by the length of my belt.
Measured by the inch,
it was the only source of validation
I had for myself.

When all else failed,
I could rely
on pleasing someone else,

Because the amplitude
of her moan
reassured me I was of help.

If not that, then what else?
It was one of the first
emotions that I felt.
It started when I was young,
I was barely able to spell.

Over time, I was denied
a healthy path to excel.

Only to be bred
into a matrimony of hell.

What did I do
to become destined
to fail?

Didn’t ask to be born,
the only exit is death.

In order to survive,
I had to learn to suppress
what I wanted
to give others what I had left.

Since it was a familiar
experience,
I focused on sex,
which gave me a new purpose
to adapt and accept.

I was infiltrated by pleasure,
it gave attention whenever
I was rejected,
and to commemorate its arrival,
a tower was erected.

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