Please don’t take this personally or thoroughly to heart,
But
I hate you.

And I would rather not play the blame game
or point fingers at who tore whom apart.

I just miss you an irritating amount
that I’m sure will be alleviated as time inflates.

I constantly make these illogical attempts
to locate you in my memory and press erase,
But every time I try,
a new connection is formed and takes its place,
Resurfacing your face,
An obnoxious amount that leaves me in my present state.

I entertain the thought that maybe I’m doomed,
and you were the one that got away.
But I also acknowledge that billions of people
are on the planet,
and someone out there could be just as great.

Part of me doesn’t want to invest the time
because I was satisfied with how we played.
So maybe in the end,
we were meant to be delayed.

But you tell me.
I lost touch with who you are.
I wasn’t totally as honest as I could have been
or as I was in the start.

I mean…
You weren’t either,

But it’s nothing we can’t restart
Because at this point,
I may be willing to forgive any hurt in my heart.

I search and wait,
hopefully for a subtle sign
or a light bulb of some sort
that could tell me we would be just fine.

I guess I’m being silly.
I must be completely out of my mind
because realistically speaking,
I can’t count how many times
I’ve attempted to reconnect for the sake of our minds,

or maybe
just mine.

I can take the hint,
But I struggle to solve the rhyme
because no one told me
when you fell in love,
you would be eventually forced to climb.

I wonder if I’m still enjoying myself.
Or is my dissatisfaction self-inflicted.
I keep saying that I’m immune to repetitious misfits, but finding myself becoming addicted.
I hate arguing.
I hate feeling like I’m impartial.
I hate thinking that everything I do is not good enough, or believing that impressing you is too hard to.
I can’t make you happy,
I’ve been in 3 different relationships within the past 7 years, apparently I fuxked up in each scenario.
I’ve lied, became angry, and denied my feelings, despite being quick to share them though.
Forced to internalize my thoughts because not too many care to know.
As I begin to regress because no one acknowledges my apparent growth.

I’m too emotional. I’ve learned not to express myself in situations that tend to backfire.
At the same time, I’m not the type to stop driving just because I have a flat tire.
Loved one’s tell me to get used to it, and try not to be too impacted by her.
But I refuse to live out the rest of my life being the result of someone else’s satire.

Day after day I’m disrupted with all these thoughts of you.
I find myself preoccupied on what you often do.
Your smile, your face, and because your skin is so soft and smooth,
I get excited the moment I get to talk to you.
Distracted.
Whenever I hear your name my attention is impacted.
Your face is so beautiful I may struggle to get past it.
Never had this feeling,
can not tell you how it happened.
The fact is
you’re passionate,
So let’s pursue this satisfaction.

My attention is shifted effecting concentration.
You’re so refreshing, you always reload in my observations.
Your existence is on a wavelength of cosmic vibrations.
This was the only way to describe these kind of sensations.
From the time we been dating,
I kind of been waiting,
To share our future after tying the commemoration.
Just look how fine your face is.
I find you in my favorite’s.
We always come together no matter how fine the space is.
I took the time to make this,
To show you how my faith is,
Thanking God for our graces.
How far are you trying to take this?
You and I together is the only thing that kind of makes sense.
From this point on we can share love and then combine and take lift.

My mind is plagued in moments of temptation.
Pictures of you pop-up in my thoughts and startle sensations.
You hijack my attention, humbly welcomed–my favorite invasion.
I consent to you taking over my land, you have been permanently stationed.

Climb onto my roller coaster, this is your seat to ride on.
Calling your name while you’re gone, from a distance you still have the ability to turn my mind on.
Push to start, my engine engaged, V-8, 0-100 on your command.
Submitting to each other, we provide neglected needs, supply and demand.
I always see where you’re coming from, I have my eye in your pants.
I give you access to my triggers of dopamine, my pleasures now lie in your hands.

Whispering each others name, we meet at secret coordinates by performing the rituals to summon each others attention.
We don’t have to speak, our bodies communicate from miles away interrupting our thinking and forcing our consensual wills to listen.

I love it when you sacrifice your voice just so I can I moan.
Soul-ties raveled to the point that I can feel you breathing even when I’m alone.
I knock on your back door, you say it’s already open.
You tattooed memories to my soul, so we’ve created an exclusive reality where we are the only occupants that are closed in.

I cause you life impairments just by activating the part of my brain you live in.
We can’t escape each other, time won’t erase this feeling.
I mount your thoughts and inject you with permanent memories of me.
Until you scream to the universe, begging our energies to cease.
But the collisions we made when we were in between the sheets.
Rippled through wavelengths and are now entering in sleep.

It’s like I release all the joy you give me through my center of gravity.
You absorb it, and digest it in your vaginal cavity.
You begin to think and reminisce on all the fun times you had with me.
And when you’ve exhausted all the moments we shared, you send it all back at me.

I see an image of you in my time line and get triggered when I pass it.
They say it’s an addiction when you have difficulty getting past it.
But
the toxicity of our connection keeps our future in balance.
You will always be my baby,
I love giving in to my favorite habit.

We fuse hyrdrogen into helium,
Gravity prevents our connection from separating.
We combine electrons to form a parallel medium.
The feeling that’s created induces our souls to begin meditating.

Let’s go supernova,
We form constellations and zodiacs from aligning brain signals.
The times of mythology are over,
Yet,
We embrace love’s creation from the collapse of a kiss.

Let’s not make this the last time our feelings get tangled in the same bubble,
You know,
The connection we make together when we spend time with each other that initiates orbit around us like a space Hubble.
Pulling at the tides of our stomach when love suddenly calls a huddle,
Which in turn, disperses throughout our bodies and produces the immediate urge to cuddle.
In other words, I love you…
Deeper than the time and distance it would take to reach the last star in the universe.
We can reach, and grasp the greatest love ever slipped from the purest hands, we just have to use it first.
I wasn’t aware of the mutual attraction we both initially shared, I was confused at first.
And now it reached the point to where we are so intertwined together for us to lose it hurts.
I got a thang for you.
Sort of a,
Do you like me? Yes? No? Maybe so? Circle one and we can crush on us both type thing.
Where love breaks the fourth wall, dials both of our number and calls, then our ringtone simultaneously sings,
“A Whole New World”
One of those Aladdin & Jasmine type things.
Where you inspire premature premonitions on how our life would be linked together in an electronic connection that both our hearts make.
How in my opinion,
We create a magnetic field around us so enormous that if we traveled to separate galaxies they will eventually fuse and merge making it impossible to part ways.
One of those black hole crushes, and I’m not trying to escape you.
I literally can’t function without you, so it’s inevitable for me to be faithful.
I would hang myself to a ‘t’ and break my legs just to show you how grateful,
I am to be able,
To be placed in this predicament where I am allowed to date you.
I.E., there is not one person, place, or thing that can assume formation in our lifetime, who could potentially replace you,
And if we were somehow displaced on earth and never met, in the next lifetime my love will await you.
So let me formulate you into a compilation of words describing you in a statement.
First,
You are my special occasion, my persuasion,
The reaction a person makes when someone proposes a marital arrangement.
The logic in my sub-conscious providing the information,
That not only are you incredibly amazing,
But you are the external stimuli that can penetrate my lifestyle and implement changes,
So this natural chemistry, thank it.
Because I was losing hope on relationships and you re-made it.
Its certain feelings I can’t describe, I get when we vibe or are texting.
The instant I see you causes my joy to awaken from its slumber, as it travels up to my mouth and disperses in opposite directions.
I’m in debt to treat you right forever, as long as you don’t send me off to collections.
As thoughts of you are incarcerated in my facility of cerebral corrections,
And you don’t have a chance for parole, so we’re going to spend the rest of our entire lives trapped in solitary confinement and as long as we live it through god, then he will over-rule any objections.