Words can express the way I feel,
That’s what poets do.
I get the feeling you knew something like this would happen, conversing with God about being one of the chosen few,
I wanna know the truth.
You left, didn’t pack, no goodbyes, or warnings,
What were we supposed to do.
Honored and humbled that I was able to experience your spirit and have the opportunity to get close to you,
But I don’t know what to do.

Broken links never mold into chains again.
Once your energy left. I knew we would never be the same again.
Odds were against us throughout our entire journey, but through our connection we were able to reign within.
So essentially, you never left
You just separated mind from body,
And connected your everlasting spirit to aide us and protect our names from sin.

I recognize you were called home for a higher purpose.
I question God directly.
Because I know you became the soldier you knew you had the potential to be,
I just pray it was all worth it.
It hurts, shit,
No one was prepared for your departure.
My eyes boil over as I shuffle through cached memories from when we first met, to the day you cited your vows at the alter.

I would selfishly break into the gates of heaven to steal your soul and return you home if i had the chance to.
You were my brother, my Ace, my link, you were also my friend too.
You were there for us whenever you were needed,
No questions,
Even if you couldn’t stand to.
But now you integrated your soul into the higher workings of God, and you have been instructed have to watch over us,
Even if you didn’t plan to.

A lot of y’all exaggerate your abilities as significant others.
Boasting your skills as if you’re an invincible lover.
Ask yourself,
Are you a good partner to the person you’re most critical of?
Has your self-harm found a new target so you can take advantage of the next person that gives you his love.
You may think the world of him and want to push him to heights you think he can reach, but is your layouts of the mountain the same?
Are you realistic in your expectations?
Fair with the problems you have previously obtained.
Do you have your insecurities in check?
Or are you quick to fault him for your flaws?
Does your happiness get thrown to everyone else besides the person that’s the most emotionally involved?

As I,
Look back on my periods of growth.
I see myself slack as I’m gearing to go.
My confidence lows, am I appearing to slow?
Then my transmission blew as I was nearing the road.
I was,
Never one to make fun of the less fortunate.
Probably ’cause I was seen as less fortunate.
The pain I got was totally disproportionate.
Wanted success,
Instead, I was forced to quit.
It seemed people would impose me with strife.
I never responded ’cause they was supposedly right.
I
was suicidal for most of my life.
Won’t lie, I came close to it twice.
I was usually met with strong resistance.
Never caught the hint I had long persistence.
I belonged in ditches,
‘Cause my song was different.
Would respond to interests,
With the wrong intentions.

The attractive girls used to think I was ugly.
They would cringe in disgust if they had to touch me.
I looked like a bum, dirty, sad and crusty.
Used to steal from my Mom, If she hadn’t trust me,
I would be dead to this day, shot down, forgotten.
I wanted to die ’cause I was down in options.
You could hear it in my voice, how I sounded locked in.
Thought I lost my soul, but i found it rotton.
Was sad all the time, no one cared it would worsen.
Was this the result of being a terrible person?
Used to think inappropriately, I even shared it in person.
And was easily influenced, wasn’t aware of the serpents.
Soon as hell opened up, swear I was the first in.
Prolly needed saving, but I was scared of Church then.
Lost my self-esteem, wasn’t prepared to search in.
Everyone was happy, I was unfairly hurting.

I’m no angel.
I’m Shameful,
And wasteful,
Disgraceful,
But grateful,
I’m able,
To stay full,
And faithful,
I pray for,
The day-to,
Remove all things hateful,
Although a lot of times I can be seen as distasteful.
Despite it all, no longer flawed by my debts.
I’ve made some gains, and retained my respect.
Throughout the change, I maintained my finesse
We’re all the same, I’m no saint like the rest.

I Ain’t No Different Audio 

Would think of you all the time,
I got over you though.
Did necessary filtration that was important for growth.
I had recycled memories into renewable thoughts,
’till I sacrificed the energy with a few other costs.
Liberated at last.
I knew that it wouldn’t last.
What’s important is the lessons that you learn from the past.
You question, “How are things going?”
And I’m so glad that you asked.
I have a better connection, now that you’re not here to lag.
I’m doing better than ever I know I should be more modest,
But that’s what happens when you’re broken from emotional bondage.
I was never a slave, that doesn’t fit with my psyche.
So for me to be too pressed
is highly unlikely,
I walk like a king, I live by my faith.
Before I get crowned, I had some demons to break.
You could never comprehend
my emotional state.
That’s okay because you chose
to go the other way.

I didn’t appreciate you enough when you were around.

Didn’t realize your presence would reduce a sudden amount,
To the point that it’s running out
In such a short time.
People told me to value you more, but I ignored signs,
Because while they sacrificed theirs, I thought I could afford mine.
I miss the times we shared.
You taking me to alternate planes and showed me thangs I never seen before.
I was exposed to your beauty, but didn’t realize I needed more.
We’ve been separated too long now.
My days have been drawn out,
And I’ve been so deprived I feel like I might literally fall down.
I thought to myself, maybe you were just at the wrong house,
And I just need to convince you where you belong now.
Come back to me and let’s share the valued time we used to spend
I know I said I could function without you in the past, but I was making excuses then.
Reminiscing on our memories and regretting the moments I didn’t choose to spend,
I can say now that without you, I am a useless man.
I miss you sleep.

I wonder if I’m still enjoying myself.
Or is my dissatisfaction self-inflicted.
I keep saying that I’m immune to repetitious misfits, but finding myself becoming addicted.
I hate arguing.
I hate feeling like I’m impartial.
I hate thinking that everything I do is not good enough, or believing that impressing you is too hard to.
I can’t make you happy,
I’ve been in 3 different relationships within the past 7 years, apparently I fuxked up in each scenario.
I’ve lied, became angry, and denied my feelings, despite being quick to share them though.
Forced to internalize my thoughts because not too many care to know.
As I begin to regress because no one acknowledges my apparent growth.

I’m too emotional. I’ve learned not to express myself in situations that tend to backfire.
At the same time, I’m not the type to stop driving just because I have a flat tire.
Loved one’s tell me to get used to it, and try not to be too impacted by her.
But I refuse to live out the rest of my life being the result of someone else’s satire.

Day after day I’m disrupted with all these thoughts of you.
I find myself preoccupied on what you often do.
Your smile, your face, and because your skin is so soft and smooth,
I get excited the moment I get to talk to you.
Distracted.
Whenever I hear your name my attention is impacted.
Your face is so beautiful I may struggle to get past it.
Never had this feeling,
can not tell you how it happened.
The fact is
you’re passionate,
So let’s pursue this satisfaction.

My attention is shifted effecting concentration.
You’re so refreshing, you always reload in my observations.
Your existence is on a wavelength of cosmic vibrations.
This was the only way to describe these kind of sensations.
From the time we been dating,
I kind of been waiting,
To share our future after tying the commemoration.
Just look how fine your face is.
I find you in my favorite’s.
We always come together no matter how fine the space is.
I took the time to make this,
To show you how my faith is,
Thanking God for our graces.
How far are you trying to take this?
You and I together is the only thing that kind of makes sense.
From this point on we can share love and then combine and take lift.